Thursday, September 29, 2016

A HUG IS NEARLY A GUN SPELLED BACKWARDS

To be honest, I CARE MORE ABOUT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS MORE THAN AMERICA OR ANY CAUSE!!!! Yes, you read that correctly I do, in fact, value my personal relations higher than any cause or patriotism. The reasoning behind my statement is because I agree with E.M. Forster's view about personal relationships being more important than any cause or patriotism. Three main reasons that support my claim are 1) family will always be loyal to you, 2) they care about you, and 3) your family understands you. Considering what 'patriotism' is thought of nowadays, the need for us to view personal relations as more important is even higher because this 'patriotism' won't help you much in the long run.

Well, as stated before one reason as to why personal relations are important is that your family will always be by your side. I make that claim because even when you're life begins to go downhill, the people closest to you stick by your side. The same cannot be said about 'patriotism' because if you pay attention to reality it can clearly be seen that this 'patriotism' hasn't helped its war veterans, who risked their lives for patriotism and look how they've been treated. Another reason for my claim is that the people who you have relations with will generally support you because of that relation you have with them. An example is actually Donald Trump's family, and even though I don't support him, I can't help but admire the way his family sticks with him even though they know that what Donald says is wrong, they show admirable loyalty. Therefore, it can be said that family/friends are some of the most loyal people in your life.

As stated above, the people who are close to you are loyal based on the fact that they truly care about you. To support my claim is how your family/friends have your best interests at heart. A great example is a teacher who you have a good relationship with because when he/she sees that you aren't you start to slack off they will try to motivate you. Another reason is that they care about your health. An example to support the reasoning is when you aren't your usual self they notice and try their best to make you feel better or ask if anything is wrong. As can be seen, family/friends are both loyal and care about you, two great traits.

Finally, the last reason as to why personal relations are more important is because they are the ones who truly understand you emotionally, and logically. An example is that generally if you say something you believe then they will actually support you. This is evidence of the claim because by supporting you it shows that they understand where your point is coming from. A second example to support the claim is as I had said before Trump's family is a great example because they do understand Trump's ideology and support him through his passage of presidential candidacy. This supports my claim of understanding in the way that Trump's family understands where his reasoning comes from and they believe the same things as him. So, not only do your family/friends have loyalty, and care about you, they also support you which is something you can't find whith your nation or from any cause.

In Conclusion, as E.M. Forster said personal relations truly ARE more important than patriotism or any cause. This is shown in how your personal relations show loyalty to you in the manner of their actions of staying by your side. This is also shown in how they care about you, be it shown emotionally or physically unlike many nations which genuinely don't care for about their people. The final way the claim is shown is that your family/friends actually support your ideas/ actions unlike your nations such as America right now which doesn't support the African-American community. Therefore, your personal relations really do matter more than your love for your nation or care about any causes in the world.

16 comments:

  1. I like your essay overall but I feel that the hook needs a bit of work

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    1. Thank you for the feedback. What would improve the hook, if you know any way to help me?

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    2. Eldrin if you have any suggestions as to how I can fix my introduction sentence feel free to contact me either through messenger or on here.

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    3. Well, you see, even though your hook expresses an intense feeling of family love, I feel like you are saying that it is uncommon to care more for your family and friends than for your country even though it isn't. I love the structure of your hook, its just the fact that I wasn't surprised, when I should be, when you stated "To be honest..."

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    4. Thank you for the pointers, Eldrin!👍

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  2. I really liked your essay! I'm drawn to your hook! I feel that your essay meets all the criteria for our first try on writing an essay. It shows organization,thesis statement, and a great hook! Great job 😊

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  4. Your hook shows great emotion. I mean it works perfectly to keep people hooked, so great job. Thesis is good and makes sense , simple and effective. I love your diction. It is efficient and makes clear sense. You can really see the structure of your sentences and how solid it is. Your examples are great to and you argue for them. Your cobclusion is just good. Nothing wrong with it pretty good. Overall your essay is great.

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  5. Your hook caught my attention making me want to read it more and you were really strong about personal relations giving good reasons and the word choices are great. Good essay that you wrote

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  6. Your hook caught my attention making me want to read it more and you were really strong about personal relations giving good reasons and the word choices are great. Good essay that you wrote

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